Sometimes Babies Cry

When my baby cried unconsolably, I used to make it mean something about ME. That I was a bad mom and couldn't make my baby happy and was doing something wrong.

One day, a wise woman told me, "Emi, sometimes babies cry, because this is how they process their environment."

What!!! Babies cry because babies cry?!

Sweet holy relief. I think I'll free myself from that hook now.

Here's what I've learned to be true.

It's really not about you, momma. I know that your nervous system might be blown right through the roof. AND I know that you can take a deep breath trusting that you are doing everything possible. And it is enough. You are qualified for the job no matter what the inner a-hole is telling you.

Sometimes, the most humane thing is to not deny your baby their experience and to let them cry. You can hold them and love them through this (and re-parent yourself in the process).

I don't care how old your kiddo is, this wisdom remains true: we don't always have to rescue our children from their experience. Because that experience may be necessary for both the parent and the child.

Babies (and kids) don't have the words to articulate their feelings the way us adults do. The way they share and let go is through their tears and they don't need to be talked out of their feelings. Just seen, met, known, witnessed, and loved.

This process allows them to release to get to the other side of the experience.

Just like we need to do (and often don't allow ourselves to do).

It's amazing how our kids are a reflection for the tending we ourselves often need.

It's all perfect.

It's all holy.

It's all allowed.

They are allowed. And so are you.

Here's to Our Collective Permission to Cry…